Day 4- 4th december(the blind school)

Day 4- 4th december
the day that marked a great change in me.

The Blind School

I went to the blind school today. Even though i badly wanted to go to the orphanage as i missed Mark, my baby brother alot, i still went to the blind school partly as i felt a strong calling from the Lord to go there and also i have never associate with the blind in my life before. Initially i was afraid to go there, but then when the slots for the orphanage clashed, my heart just told me to just go to the blind school.

We practise some christmas songs so that we would know how to sing some songs if we were needed to put up an item for the kids.It was kind of fun 'carolling' with people that i dont really know..haha..i'm truly amazed by Genevieve who knows the song 'twelve days of christmas' by heart..

Then during lunch, Genevieve felt sicked..At first it was kind of okie..later she threw up big time..I felt very shocked cause she was alright a few hours ago..Then later she went to the toilet and locked herself inside for 15mins. I was standing there and people from outside who was super worried kept asking me if she had fainted in the toilet..When she finally came out, me and Anne-marie were sort of relieved..She was then sent to the hospital for vaccination..

We were not allowed to go to the hospital..So I went to the blind school..We reached the school in time to see the kids putting up some musical performance in commemoration of the king's birthday and also father's day. Even though these people are born without sight, yet the music they produced are beautiful beyond description.

After the performance, we went around helping 'santa' to give out the christmas goodies to the blind kids. The kids were all bowing their heads and saying Khob Khun Kha or Khob Khun Krab which are thank you in thai. Most of them just felt my hands and then took their sweets, but there was one particular kid who was about 5 years old went more than just feeling my hands and taking the sweets. She went to the extent to feel for my arms, my waist and just feeling all over for me. I felt super touched by her actions. To her, i was just a stranger, yet she was there feeling for me. That spilt second, i just felt loved, loved by this wonderful child God has created on this earth.

After giving out the goodies, there was this urge to just go back to that kid. There was just a connection between me and her. So i went to her ears and said "sa-wa dee kah" to her..She didnt react to me, just sitting down there. So i decided to say it louder..Apparently, she still didnt react. Then one of the guardian came and told me in some action language that this girl is not only blind but deaf too. When i saw that statement, my heart sank. I just made me wanted to reach out more to her, to give her all my love and care to her. She is an orphan, born without sight and hearing, was questioning the Lord, :" why did you made her like that"

I let her feet my hand, my face, my watch and my pouch since the only thing i could do was to give my love to her with a touch, a touch of love. There was no form of talking with my mouth, only talking to her with my touch and the warmth from my heart. Touch was the only thing i could do to make her understand me and it was also the only thing she can used communicate with me.

My kid did some funny action which looked like a fish, at first i didnt know what was it, but after asking some other volunteers, it appeared that my kid wanted to go swimming. It wasnt her swimming time then, so i went to feed her some cake. For us with working organs, eating is not really a joy to us, but for her, eating was also a form of joy. As i fed her, she began to laugh. As i fed her, she began to laugh as if someone was tickling her itchy spot. As i fed her, she chewed and swallowed her cake as if it was some rare food she had. Her lovely laughter rang the drums of my ear, i was touched by her laughter.

Then she sort of went to hug me, hug me as tightly as she could. When i carried her, she sort of laid her head on me, that feeling of her lying on me was just so wonderful. She treasured me more then anyone else, she treated me as i was someone very important to her, she treated me like i was her mother.

There are many things in life that i do not treausre. It is only when something that is going to be taken out from our life that we then treasure it. My kid may be an orphan, a person whose life is filled with darkness and quietness but she knows the meaning of the word treasure even more than i do. She knows how to give love much more readily then i could. To me, i'm insensitive to my surrounding, yet to her, she is much more sensitive and consious to the things that takes place around her.

It was only a short while and then we all had to say goodbye. When i bid her my goodbye with my palms jointed onto hers, her face bacame very sad. She didnt laugh anymore, but grew to be redrawn to her surroundings again. On leaving her, i cried. I maybe older and luckier than her but she has gone through even much more sufferings i had for a lifetime.

I finally understand why God has made her who she was today. Its not she who needs her sight and her hearing, but it is us who needs to learn from her how to treasure the many many little things that revolves daily around us. She has taught me the true meaning of love, to love each other with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind with all your strength.

What she has given me is what i can never pay her back for the rest of my life. The only thing i can now do is to give her back the love she has given me, loving her with my whole heart.

The fingers that made me touch

To my kid, i'll visit you again tomorrow..

P.S-Genevieve had to stay in the hospital, being diagnosed with stomach flu..Even though i only know her and laughed with her for 4days, a day without her presence brings torture to my ear as her laughter was ringing throughout the whole night..May god bless her too..I seriously need her around to stop my ears from hallucination..